Monday, July 1, 2013

A little (well a lot) of transparency

As pretty much everyone knows by now I was supposed to be competing in my first ever half ironman this September. Well after my shoulder injury it's for sure I will not be able to do it, even if I don't have to have surgery I have lost so much training time that I would not be ready. I understand that to most this doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but to me this was my dream. I have invested so much thought, money, and most importantly time into this, and unfortunately I cannot get any of it back. I can not explain to you how frustrating and disappointing this is to me. I can't help but feel like a failure even though there was nothing I could have done to stop it. 

Needless to say With all of this going on I have been a downer to be around, I feel helpless, useless, and just plain grumpy. I HATE having my arm in a sling it makes me so mad to not be able to do the things that I usually do to help the family and just to live normally. All of this has made me extremely home sick....which is funny because I actually love mexico. I love the people here, I love the smile they get when we say we live here, and I love a good taco on the square on friday night. But I miss family and friends from home, and the ease of knowing that a doctor who speaks English is around every corner. And this shoulder thing has made me miss all that a little more, and not have the attitude I should be having. I want to take a minute to say I'm sorry to my family for the moody-ness, I love you all so very much and I am so thankful that God has given us the opportunity to work together here.......I mean wow! 
Dad- I I love watching you minister to people, it is the most amazing thing I have ever seen, you truly are a blessing to this country and to me, one day I will be just like you!
Mom- I am in awe of how you can fix a meatloaf and make me feel like I am back at home, you are the best friend I could ever have, and you work so very hard, we would not survive without you.
Joey- I have no clue how you put up with me, I am so thankful for the love you have for my family and this ministry, I could not imagine someone better out there for me...and us!
Kylee- sweet girl you are simply amazing, you never complain and always smile, how do you do that? You are the greatest helper that any of us could have ever asked for, thank you for choosing everyday to serve God with all your are the biggest asset to this ministry!

So here is my promise....I am going to stay positive! God is in control not me, He has a perfect reason for everything and I know His plan will be better than I could ever imagine. I am so excited that God chose us to be here and to serve here and I am ready and willing to do just that. 

I ask that you will continue to keep our family in your prayers, we cherish those prayers so very much. I am in the process of finding a place to have an MRI done on my shoulder to find out if its torn. You would be surprised to at how hard it is to find that stinking machine lol. Once we know what the damage is then we can assess what I need to do next. Please pray we can find somewhere that I can get it done and that the cost is not to much. 


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