A few weeks ago kylee began throwing up in the middle of the night. While I understand thousands of kids do this everyday in America and it's no big deal, the parents of those kids did not have to run through a list of questions-did she drink water out of the faucet and I didn't see, did she eat meat that wasn't prepared correctly, did she get bit by something that I didn't notice. Then after asking those questions think about if she went to the hospital what would they do, would they try to take her appendix out just because it would make them some money? What scheme would they try to use my daughter for so they could make a few bucks? Is she even being treated for what is actually wrong? Now I am extremely thankful that she was able to get better after a few days on the BRAT diet but that didn't keep me from staring at her all night begging God to just heal her little body so she didn't have to go to a hospital here. Another example is how many times has your child ran through the store at Walmart? Probably a million, do you ever scream bloody murder for them to stop running not because they are driving you nuts but because if they fell and busted their head open you don't know if they would make it to the hospital because there are no ambulances or emergency medical teams? I do. I feel awful that I'm constantly telling my energetic little 4 year old to stop playing. But I can't help it, it is far to big a risk here. We have to be on red alert with Kylee 24/7. Just the other day we got out of the car at the store and a man followed us gawking at her just waiting for us to take our eye off her and let go of her hand. My dad and Joey had to tell him to get away from her and not come back around. Do you know what it feels like to have that pit in your stomach? To know that everyday little girls are bought and sold here just because of their blond hair and blue eyes. To know that if something happen no cop would care. I burn with anger over these pathetic human beings. I hate when men look at her, It infuriates and terrifies me.
These are daily occurrences for us, I understand that I am supposed to trust God and I do whole heartedly. But don't mistake trust for ignorance. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to be oblivious to what is going on, or to just run wild and God will take care of it. I believe strongly that God takes care of us and that he watches and protects His children but I also believe that He wants us to be responsible and intelligent in the positions we put ourselves in. God in trusted me with this amazing gift, He gave her to me to take care of. And I will do that no matter what till my last breath.
I guess why a lot of missionaries don't want to talk about this is because it's not uplifting, it's gut retching, and it makes me sick to my stomach and brings tears to my eyes just writing about it now. No one wants to think about those kind of things.
Parents hold your children close watch them closer , enjoy seeing them play at the park, run, laugh, talk to people, and even get their dr check ups. Because if you didn't get to see those things.....you would miss it greatly.
Love
Jordan
